was it everything you wished for??

right soo as stupid as it sounds many of u know i have wanted a rock star boyfriend for years...purely because my heart lies in music...and fashion of course lol...but really music i've been raised around it between my brother being in a bad from the age of 13 and my father constantly playing records to my mother singing around the house i guess i've always just found it a passsion of mine!! anyway so i finally grab him and although the band is not global it is a very succesful underground band very commonly known around dublin were i live which is cool!!!its seems like its everythin i wished for...although it's a bit of a blur to me now its pretty cool i have to say!!
but one thing..me n my friend dean are drifting apart..he's really close to me prob 1 of the closet people to me he's like a big brother but since this its like we've grown apart its not something i wanted to happen and i hope it doesn't he means more to me than anythin really...its reassuring knowing i can tell some1 all my secrets and know tht there not going to be passed on...hes the only boy to ever see and hear me cry..and knows how to calm me down and let me take out my bad mood he's truely amazing has to be said...so why do i have to convince myself tht im not losing him...i know friends come and go its one of lifes things but why does he have to go??..i know myself he is some1 i would want to stay friends with for the rest of my life...but why is he slipping through the cracks when he shouldn't be??...is it something i have done??...is there something i should say???...i wish i knew what was going on inside his head...i wish i knew what happens next???