guess its all a memory!!

Its amazing how fast time goes by. like seriously i remember my first day of high school that nervous feeling you get and also that excitment becuase u finally feel grown up then all of a sudden time goes into hyper speed and believe or not its over in a flash.
its my senior year this year and i still remember my first house party i ever went to my first disco/dance thing the first time i got into somethin that was over 18's and feeling like a rebel and finally feeling like a grown up and so mature its amazing how much your way of thought can change. on Thursday me and my buddies went to see the killers play in marley park it was out last envent of the summer before we knuckle down to do our leaving certs,get our grades and go to college, although the experience there was unbelievable and will be unforgetable i remember as we were leaving the sad thought hit us all when i friend goes "well thats it we finshed summer in style time to finish school now" right then everyone thought the same thing,not only were we growning up we realised we wouldn't be teenagers forever.
we knew come summer next year would be the begining of us all parting our seperate ways to start making it in the big bad world no longer being old enough to know better but to young to care we now had to be old enough to care!!it was weird realising me and all my friends met as little girls and boys and we're now all young men and women.one took one last picture...thats it sumer over time to move on and up...time to grow up...its sad thinking that all this will just be a memory!!
i once was soo eager to grow up i now wish i could stay in my teens forever!

change??

so everyone changes at one stage or another rite??no 1 stays the same we all grow up and mature but what happens when you ur dream or rather the person you thought was your dream guy at the time turn into an arogant arsehole??
this has happened to me, me and joel were dating a good six months ago it was a messy break up boths of us still liking eachother but having no choice to break up due to other matters!!but anyway we stayed friends throughout but all of a sudden he strikes up conversation and we get txting agen and then meet up today...and wow has he changed and not for the better he made me feel horrible he was no longer this sweet caring guy who you could talk to about anything and always feel comfortable no matter what and now he's this rude arrogaunt person who doesn't have a nice thing to say and only form of communication was to put me down all day i can certainly say my confidence has been knocked quite a fair bit since today but i think it was just the shock of how much things have changed i went home feeling hurt today and he didn't even care i hope karma comes around and bites him because he is certainly no longer my mac dreamy im really disappointed he was way more attractive wen he was nice!i feel sorry for him he had sucha great personality but now i don't know what happens its amazing what change can do to ppl!!!

the big leap....college!!

rite so i've known what i wanted to do since i was in 3rd year which is i think 9th grade for all my readers in the states. i knew i wanted to be in fashion ever since i was old enough to shop i knew that the fashion industry was my calling!!so i decided to combine my 2 passions of writing and fashion into my dream job "fashion journalism" so for the past year or so i have been searching for colleges as it is my last year of high school i know i am finally going into the big bad world away from the clicks and the cheesy discos i will be a grown up come june next year!
Anyway so yeh i originally i was set to go to griffith college study fashion for 3 years and then on to journalism for a year but now all of a sudden i don't wanna stay here in ireland to study i wanna trravel i wanna study in the fashion institute of design and merchandise in LA California.
i lived in cali wen i was younger and i've always felt my true calling was to live there and live that life style have my hectic journalism life in hollywood or downtown LA and then when it all gets to much go out to my beach house at huntington ha its always been my dream but when i've been about college it suddenly hit me these dreams don't magically come true you need to make them happen for yourself you have to invest time and take chances,my life in LA if i did move would me a major step for me and my family i'd be moving far away from them and left to fend on my own i'd be thrown straight into the deep end i think i could do it to be honest with you!it would certainly be a big challange and a culture change that would take some adjustment but i think it maybe worth the leap it would defiantly teach me to be more independant and in a world like today u gotta learn how to swim fast in the fast pace life we are all begining to lead!!

wanting something you just can't find!

so last night at captain A's calum didn't turn up after our split kinda thing and sitting there looking around sort of hurt it was weird because for so long i didn't need anyone around to hug or kiss it just wasn't me at all but sitting there on my own hit me maybe i just do want someone around you know just to be there and to cuddle and to go to the movies with stupid simple things maybe i wanted more then "just fun" with calum maybe i expected more from it actually no i did expect more from it! so im saying it i wouldn;t mind having a boyfriend around its just finding him is the problem i made a promise to myself not to settle for anyone unless its who i truly want to i've made alot of mistakes with picking boys most of them turning out to be controling or clingy or to pressurising! i just want my own rockstar not in the literal meaning of the word (would be nice though lol) but yehh a musician tall,dark eyes u know the usual like summers coming to an end and even though it was amazing and i made lots of new friends and have grown up immensly compared to the beginning i think i'd like to find someone to keep me company ha but yeh i don't like being on my own anymore i want someone to fall back on when things get rough!i'd love to know were he is lol.!

party with a rockstar.....or not

ok my rockstar lover did not go exactly to plan after 2 dates we are over and from no fault of my own he still likes me and i still like him but no its because of a friend of mine and what he said to my rockstar so yes i am VERY annoyed but im calming down and i've decided that one day i will get my rockstar if it kills me it'll happen its one of those things on my bucket list haha!!!
im being positive and i am on the search for a rockstar lover i haven;t a clue were they all hide out but i will find one mark my words haha!!!so if any1 knows a rockstar or wants to put me in the direction of one id be more then grateful haha!!