its been a while!!

wow it has been so long since i've written on this!!but in my defence i've been super busy so let me bring you up to date.
so i graduated high school with hounours and got excepted to do a pre med in dundrum college for nurses, which is a dramatic change from wanting to work in fashion, i just found out during the year my true calling was in medicine.
i then had an incrediable summer filled with festivals,gigs and dancing but little did i know i trip to california would change me view of life forever.
while i was visiting cali i met up with nic me and nic have been friends for bout 8 years now but because we live so far away but this year when we met up things had changed he'd grown up and so had i we were no longer children it was love at first sight, hanging out was amazing their was a feeling of electricity between us i don't think either of us stopped smiling for the 10 days i was there! we both went to disneyland together and while on the tower of terror got tht be closer holding hands in the dark, tht started us off by the time we got to space mountain we were cuddling and as soon as the fire works went off we were kissing it was perfect however both of us forget one crucial detail ...i was going home at the end of the week and this all had to end, we didn;t know we'd fall in love. saying good bye was the worst i've never been so heartbroken in my life we talk constantly now tht im home but i constantly wonder can this work in the future? im going to be going to colege in the states next year and i wonder if it is our time then? this is one thing i never planend for and definatly one thing i dont want to end! so can some one please tell me...what do you do when the person you love lives a million miles away? should u hold on? or let it go?

i never thought high school would end!it's something i've been aware of but don't think i fully believed!its my last 4 weeks now before grad and its strange to think this'll be the last few weeks i'll walk through the corridors to classes or stand in base area A on mondays awaiting the goss of what went on in the parties the pervious few days.
it's weird knowing that your top of the chain when u remember so clearly what in was like to be a freshman.
I keep getting kind of sad although high school wasn't the best few years of my life i did have to rough patches but doesn't everyone its weird knowing the people i say hi every morning too come september i'll never see again!
i always thought that graduating you felt so grown up and so sure of everything and too be honest i feel more lost now then i ever have its strange finally making decisions like what college you want to go to when you want too do so much i always assumed everything just fell into place i couldn't of been more wrong!!
however these feelings aren't bad and scared its more exciting knowing i can be who i want to be now no more clicks or stereotypes its time to be me and its kind of exciting!

senior year

ohh my gosshh senior year is like no other i must admit the stress is something else between getting grades and deciding what u wanna do with your life its crazy its like bam ur in highschool and every1 is drinking,drugs,having sex,experimenting like there's no tomorro and u just look around and wonder where did the little kids u once new go to???
it is by far one of the most emotional years of my life knowing most the people i either sit beside in class or eat lunch with prob won't be my BFF'S in about 2 years time....pessimistic i know but its true sure half of us are traveling and the other half going to various colleges around the country the likely hood of us staying this close is slim!!!and its upsetting to think really so you try snap as many photos as you can before its to late,before the memories gone and try make as many private jokes as possible because when will we have this chance again!!!!we all graduate in 5 months time and i don't think its hit us yet we'll be putting on our cap and gowns to collect your certificate before we go on to attempt the LEAVING CERT to decide what college we're going too!!!
its strange knowing the safety net which was always there for us to catch us will be gone in a matter of months we shall be on our own making our own decisions for a change not being told what class to go to anymore but being independant!
And no matter how independant we think we are have you ever noticed when things go wrong u still run to your parents?? i wonder what it'll be like to have that security blanket some what lifted!!!
i am just about to take my mocks exams and im studying like crazy and it just made me think for a second....what ever happend to the little kids i once knew???we are now men and women..we are now the dreaded thing we always hated as youngsters....we,re grown ups!!!!!